if you could do it over..

.. would you?

I entered senior year with the intent of making the best of everything. To serve my family group to my fullest. To spend crucial time with my friends. To visit Sophie any free moment. To study ahead of time. To work out and eat healthier. To go head-first into my thesis. Ah. My thesis.

When I entered as a freshman, the thesis seemed like such a daunting task. I think it was freshman year, or maybe sophomore year, when I was alone in the computer lab with one other girl who started crying hysterically when she finally printed out her thesis. It freaked me out- but then again I thought I understood why she would feel that way. I blogged about it on my xanga, and I remember saying that she must've been overwhelmed with all these different emotions.

And now I'm a senior, finishing up my own thesis. Well, more like creating-in-the-last-minute. It's Saturday night/Sunday morning, and the paper that is to be the culmination of my four years of academics at Bryn Mawr College is due on Tuesday.

Procrastination is a bitch. Not so much that I'm overly stressed out and pressured to get it done-- that hasn't set in quite yet. But this is obviously not going to be up to par with what I had originally expected from myself. Yea, it's only a paper. But I came into the year actually excited to write it. It started out much more personal than just a paper. But over the course of the semester it turned into the bane of my existence.

I'm tired of procrastinating- in everything. After next week I have only one more semester to make the best of things. That's so weird. I still feel like I'm 17, and I look it too, but in fact I'm turning 22 on Monday and in a week I'll be half done with my last year of my undergraduate studies.

But there's a lot to look forward to after this. I got one more semester with my family group, my friends, to take advantage of the short carride to see Sophie, to do my work. I'm not so sure about working out, but maybe the coming-Jamaica trip will get me to the gym. Maybe I'll better some relationships. Maybe I'll write a children's book. maybe.

I'll probably look at this post when I'm not delirious or sonicflood and think, "wtf." oops. It's 5am.

i witnessed the unthinkable today.

Driving back from Penn, I pulled up onto North Merion Avenue and approached Wyndham to park. There was a white BMW X5 coming towards me, and a golden lab was sticking his head out the window. The car was going slow, thank God, but somehow the dog fell out of the car. He jutted his upper body too far out the window, I guess, and gravity took over and he fell out, hitting his back on a street sign pole and rolling onto the ground.

And I watched the whole thing happen. I braked to a stop and just watched it happen in horror.

The weird thing is, when I saw the dog with his body out the window, I seriously thought, "dude. I hope it doesn't fall out." And it did. It totally fell out of the car.

The lady didn't realize what had happened until she saw my face, I think. Cuz she was madd delayed in her response. She stopped the car and jetted out of her car to make sure the dog was okay. It was kinda sad to watch. but I stayed there in the middle of the street, with two other cars behind me. When I finally felt like it was safe to move up I made eye-contact with the driver and she looked so guilty. Like she knew we were judging her for letting her dog fall out of the car.

The funny part is, the dog was just confused and seemed like it was playing it off. Like a person who falls on his face as he's walking and just gets up and acts nonchalantly like nothing happened. Except it was a dog.

and it's December. crazy.